She was my first airplane flight,
And first one out to Manila.
This ride home could be the last one
I'll be taking coming from there.

I read this on the phone as I boarded the plane.
I am her first one true love, she said.
How could I not jerk a tear reading that?
Even from a text message?
Even in a plane full of people.
Even at miles in mid-air minutes later.

The silly mouth-open dorky sleeping position
Of this man sitting near by is my only comic relief
As I write one final goodbye to what was us.
To four years.
To tens of bottles of beer.
To thousands of beautiful photos.
To a near hundred thousand messages,
If my calculations are right.

But I'll never have an equation to count
How many pieces our hearts smashed into.
Yes, I broke hers and my own.
That's what happens when you drop a heart
With your own falling right behind it.
Sometimes, you forget that you both had your
Little red pumpers tied tighly together.

Have you ever held someone as they cried?
Have you ever felt like crap for drawing tears
Out of the most beautiful of eyes?
Have you ever felt so guilty for breaking
A heart that felt nothing but love for you?
I have. You should not try it at home.
Nor anywhere. Nor anytime.

The distance plays in my favor this time.
At least I won't be reminded of how much
I used to love this lady if I bump into her.
Zero to slim chance of that happening at random.

I am usually in pain of loneliness when I fly home
Because it's sad to be apart most of the time.
But at this moment, this trip back feels like I crashed.
Several times. A crash for every trip I took to see her.
And for every flight I could have taken for her.
Yes. It hurts that much. Even for me.
I sort of regret giving in to her request to see her.
I could have avoided this hurt.
But I guess -- no, I know -- I deserve it.

May her next true love never put her through this.
And when she's ready, I'll be waiting for her to forgive me.
But not to forget. Because I know, I never will.

Plane's on a descent now.
And I rammed mine right into a wall.
If only our landing was smoother.
If only servicing emotions could only take minutes.
If only it was easy for both of us to fly again.

This plane won't be taking to the clouds.
Not for a long while.
Back to the hangar for major repairs.
To be taken apart, cleaned up
And put back together.
In time, she'll be back in the sky.
Like brand spanking new.
Soaring high. Free. And loved.

Calypso's candelia in your long black hair
Slides me into a spell of your scent
The kind I never want to break free of

A hint of wine on your lips
Keeps your smile painfully beautiful
Everything else is in exalting envy of it

Pale moonlight on your pleasant face
Draw the stars to gaze back
At how you look perfectly mellow
In the chaotic flickering of lanterns

Sweet sensual island rhythms in the air
Make the moment even more mystical
Seemingly swaying our shakedown to a serenade

Your skin is like the velvet surface of the calm sea
Crashing into ruffles on your dress
Just like the sea sinking white into the sand

Loving having my princess in my arms
While Calypso's candelia keeps us together
Always finding us with each other
In a place only we know where

A Shifting Portrait of Love

Let me shower you with a thousand petals
To weave a lullaby of aromas
I would delight myself to breathing all of you into me

Let a blanket of scarlet feathers fall over you
I will take my time in subtly blowing off every petal
And leave a kiss on each spot that will be uncovered

Let me draw poetry on your sinless skin with my lips
Every sigh, a syllable
Every carress, a line
And every nibble, an octave

Let the papers of written words burn in the flame
Light this dusk until dawn
This one sweet afternoon
Of sacred vigil in worship of your physique

Let the bed be our canvas
And as we stir steadily, slowly, softly
Even with our hearts racing in a storm
We will paint a shifting portrait of love
With ruffled sheets, clothes and pillows

There wasn’t any sound
Save for the whispers
Of the moaning wind
Of the fluttering sea
Of the sizzling bonfire
And of two bodies entwined together

And there was nothing to set eyes upon
Except for the faint picture
Of a moon
Of a gazillion stars
Of a moonlit strand of seaside utopia
And of two bodies quietly robed

There was nothing I could breathe in
But the dancing aurora of scents
Of salty waters
Of a cool candelia
Of damp, smooth skin
And the deep essence of your neck

Nothing was moving in beat
Apart from the smooth, flawless, rhythm
Of the swaying leaves of the coconut trees
Of stars flickering and a summer night blazing
Of a thousand drumming fingers of crashing waves
And of two bodies careening intimately upon
a beat-up hamaca of weaved wisps

Just you and me on our line where Artemis and Neptune meet
We felt nothing else but the compelling desire to let our
bodies tell of our passion searing and torrid

And as we sank ourselves deep into blissful frenzy…
As we whispered each other’s name…
As our souls become one soul…

We fall in love all over again.

I go about looking at horses and cattle.  They eat grass, make love, work when they have to, bear their young.  I am sick with envy of them.
- Sherwood Anderson

He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount.
- a Chinese proverb